Freedom Isn't Free.. Don't Tell Canada

I've been feeling the need for change.  I've been talking to my brother this past year about joining him and his wife in Boulder/Denver area, where their plan to move this summer was delayed after his accident last year to the summer of 2009.  When I moved to Atlanta in 1998, it was not really toward anything, but rather to get away from where I grew up and the bad patterns I'd established there.  Ironically, the minute I set foot in Atlanta, I knew I wouldn't stay here for the rest of my life.  I have no regrets, as it was an amazing learning experience.  I've always been independent, but this was a whole new lesson in capability.  Planting myself right in the middle of a city that I'd never been to, hadn't known anyone and re-establishing my identity was challenging to say the least.  I decided all those years ago, that the next time I decide to reinvent my life in a new city, it'll be a move forward, towards something.  I've already established the fact that I'm terrible at making plans, but I think I can spend the next year or two or maybe five, who knows, visiting and researching new cities while prioritizing what is important to have in a city I call home.  I'd really like to love where I'm living.  

There are a lot of things that I love about Atlanta, but there are also some important ones that I don't.  Atlanta may be a big city, but it's still pretty deep in the south.  There is definitely an underlying current of racism.  I know it doesn't disappear as you move about the country, but its roots here are deep.  Also, it's one of the worst cities for biking and as you may or may not know, I really like to ride my bike.  

Today I went out to Newnan, about 45 minutes southwest of Atlanta, to do a road ride called Silk Sheets for a change of pace from the normal routes.  I took my camera, but it wasn't particularly scenic.  There were three things that caught my attention, however, and they just happen to illustrate my earlier sentiment.  

Having the childish sense of humor that I do, I stopped to take a picture of this sign because of the name:  Soggy Bottom Farm (not the best at picture taking today - must've been sweat in my eyeballs)

THEN, I looked to the left and saw something I'd only seen in old cartoons in film classes - go ahead, click on it and look at the detail:

I wonder what sort of statement these people were trying to make.  Now, I'm pretty sure that black people have eyelids, but I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe this particular figurine had hyperthyroid and was a smoker - hence the bulging eyes.  Then I looked closer at the picture I took and noticed how the little black boy is all busted up, as is his seating.  Is this a statement from the owners or was it vandalism?  Crispin and I joked about their stance on race relations having this display in their front yard, but I wish I was more clever and witty because I can see several jokes here somewhere, I just can't put them together.

After witnessing that display, I came upon this "Freedom Isn't Free" sign:

...which TOTALLY reminded me of the following David Cross bit.  If you're easily offended by swearing, or a "W" supporter.. it's just going to piss you off..

So, I think I'll start my list with:

Large network of bike lanes.

Politically progressive towards alternative transportation.

and of course - Nice weather.  (nice according to my definition)

I'm tired.  This whole entry might read horribly, but that's the chance I'm taking in publishing it now...

restoring momentum

Part of taking the amazing three week trip to Alaska meant some sacrifice in two very important areas of my life: exercise and soap.  Pretty much all winter I'd been running 4-5 miles a few times a week to the point that my abilities had surpassed those of my usual running partner.  I'm talking about Matt, a very athletic 26 year old who would go do six gap (pictured left) or take the podium in a mountain bike race earlier in the day and then come run the hilly 5 mile loop and still challenge me.  Granted, he hadn't been running much, but he could still make me look like I was standing still on a bike any day of the week.  I definitely took the chance to brag about "winning" on several occasions.  My favorite celebration was raising my fists to the sky and then making gun noises while jabbing my fingers into thin air.  If even for a couple of weeks before the trip, it felt really good to be a 31 year old female putting a hurtin' on a 26 year old dude while running.     

I had gone full force back to the running and biking immediately upon my return to Atlanta but it was short lived as I promptly got hit with the plague.  So, yesterday I went for my first run since recovering from the black death.  Matt and I went to Stone Mountain Park (pictured here at the top of the mountain during sunset last summer) and ran the entire 5 mile loop, not including warm up and cool down distance.  I'm a bit sore today, which is unfamiliar these days, but I feel better both physically and mentally.  Now that I know that I'm still capable of doing the distance, I can work back up to running it faster and faster.. not to mention that once my lungs are fully recovered from the epidemic that infested Atlanta, I'm sure it won't hurt as bad.  Also, as I build momentum, I'll be paying closer attention to my diet so that my body doesn't feel like lead.  It hurts so much more with poor nutritional choices. 

As for the sudsy life, I had to unlist all of my Etsy items while I was away since I could not ship anything within a reasonable amount of time.  I have not been selling thousands of items like some shops I've seen, but I'd pretty much been in one treasury or another consistently and even had one of my products featured in the everyday gift guide, compiled by the Etsy staff.  I was getting at least one sale per week which allowed me to re-list regularly and remain visible.  It's easy to get buried beneath all of the new listings that are constantly being posted.  This week, I've been in four treasuries and today I finally made my first post-Alaska sale.  Not a bad start considering it took me about five months to figure out how become somewhat visible in order to make some sales.  Also, I'm still a soap vendor for the distribution company I mentioned in my 'Greener Pastures' blog.  In fact, I've just sent them a disc with my product pictures for their website after a phone call from their marketing director.  I'm not sure what will come of this, but there is still plenty of potential.  Of course, with warmer weather comes festival season where I made the majority of my sales last year.  This year, I've been accepted into the Inman Park Festival - which is huge - as well as the Grant Park Festival where I grossed the most sales last year.  I also plan to set up at the Fool's Gold Mountain Bike Race & Festival hosted by Namrita & Eddie O'Dea.

My heartache has eased up a bit as well, or at least it has a different source.  After an emotional conversation somewhat initiated by the events in my previous blog, Peter and I decided that it's not impossible to imagine visiting one another every couple of months.  Time goes by so quickly as an adult and I'd rather not throw away such a strong connection with someone because of geography and the perceived obstacles it creates.  The way I see it, finding ways to remain connected to him and maybe/hopefully grow closer emotionally/geographically is exciting.  Forgive the corniness of my analogy, but it's like a puzzle.  The real adventure is in the process of putting it together, trying different pieces, the excitement of finding one that fits, all the while working towards becoming whole.  I don't mean whole in a ridiculous "you complete me" kind of way (besides the fact that the movie this line comes from makes me want to lose my lunch), I mean that taking a chance, ignoring fear and actually allowing myself to be open emotionally, no matter the outcome, can only result in me becoming more whole as a person.