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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Forecast: Mostly Happy With A 20% Chance of Loneliness.

Usually Thanksgiving and Christmas come and go without me feeling sad or lonely.  This year, however, having seen my brother for just one day last week, the sum total of our annual time together, my mom off to Utah and out of cell phone service for a special Thanksgiving and everyone's updates on Facebook surrounding the topic of being home and around family, I feel a certain void.  Granted, I am going to be spending the evening with wonderful people that I don't get to see as often as I'd like, I am still feeling homesick for people, as I have no "back home", really.  My mom lives in Albuquerque, my brother and his wife live in Boston, my boyfriend lives in California with no next visit planned and things feel a little empty.

Don't be mistaken, I have been feeling positive and productive about life in general, it's just that sometimes when things slow down and everyone takes a break for quality time that I made no effort to do myself, it gets quiet and quiet leads to contemplation.  It's really no time for me to be buying a plane ticket, quite honestly, but I'd still jump online to do just that the second I knew when I could see Peter again.  Video chats can only do so much for a person.

Tomorrow, I will be thankful to be around several friends who always make me laugh, in a warm, beautiful home with great food, wine and several rounds of Rock Band.  I will feel happy and fulfilled, and there will also be a part of me that wants so badly to be sharing that with Peter. 

Two years ago, I met up with my mom, brother and sister in law in Boulder, CO for Thanksgiving.  We went hiking and saw the most amazing sky I've ever seen.  It's amazing how things have changed and stayed the same since then.


1 comment:

Holly said...

This is such a beautiful post in so many ways. I'm sorry you're so far from Peter and your family.

I am SO blessed to be with family this Thanksgiving. In some small way, I empathize. Maybe "sympathize" is a better word, since it's not the same situation. The one I wish I could spend every holiday (and every day) with is three hours and many insurmountable obstacles away from me.

Not to be depressing :). My best to you.