It's 5:45 a.m. and I haven't been to sleep yet. It's not that I haven't tried, I've been in bed for nearly four hours. This just seems to be the pattern I've fallen into... again. It's hard to try to live by the sun and moon when my work schedule keeps me until at least 3:00 a.m. half the week. It's one I've chosen, if by default, so it's not that I'm complaining, exactly, but it's frustrating when I want to go to sleep early and my body won't allow it. Five years ago, I would just roll on through if I found myself awake at this early hour. It was like being in a dream where I was functioning on a whole other level of consciousness than everyone surrounding me. It was sort of fun and I'd go to bed early, shocking my system into a different pattern. Of course, I was not alone in this, which probably helped because I can't seem to follow through on it anymore. I am not sure if it's because I'm older or because there is less incentive to do it alone. So at this very moment, I could probably fall asleep with no guarantee that I'd hear my alarm in four hours or I could just stay up. Though it is my day off, I still have a lot of things to get done and neither sleeping eight hours, nor rolling on through are going to aid in my productivity. I wonder what time Arden's Garden opens. An early shot of wheatgrass used to do the trick five years ago, I'll let you know .
Once, There Were Two Sisters
1 week ago