Greener Pastures

As the end of another year draws near, so does the birth of a new one.  A calendric analogy for the cycle of death and rebirth that is constant in the universe and in each of our lives.  This year, I've mourned many things but have also been able to relish in new projects, people and possibilities in my life.  I've witnessed the loss of family members and dying relationships, while paralleled respectively by marriage and new found relationships, though neither for me.  My hope rests in the fact that as my relationship with someone close to me wanes, so too will I find excitement and satisfaction in new relationships.  I finally realized that I can not reach for something new while still holding onto something already gone.  An epiphany indeed, and I breathe a proverbial sigh of release.

There has been no lack of exciting new possibility in my life as it relates to soap, though.  I have been working with my chiropractor to develop an exclusive line for the spa she's been working so hard to open.  Her spa is called Nema Star and am not sure about the exact date of the grand opening, but I know it is on the horizon.  I've seen the place and it looks amazing.  It's going to be wonderful.  Also, wholesale inquiries have started to sprout up here and there.  Some have turned out to be not quite on the up and up while others seem promising.  Both are exciting because it all means that my name is getting out there and people are starting to take notice of my product, hopefully for both its beauty and quality.  Other inquiries seem even more promising, particularly a recent communication with a small distribution company.  Not really small by my standards, but in comparison to something like United, Empire, National (the liquor distributors I encounter at the bar) it would likely be considered as such.  Something like hooking up with a distributor is an event that could take me from zero to sixty in a moment.  You never know, you could be seeing Mint Meditation on a shelf here or there...

  

We are no doubt on the brink of a green/handmade/small business revolution and I am excited just to think of the possibilities that lie before me.  Whenever I start to put pressure on myself to be "successful" (I'll define that in another post) and feel like I'm not living up to my potential by pouring alcohol down people's throats, the universe throws me a little gem of hope like this to remind me that I have a creative talent, an even bigger passion for it and that I am moving forward.  Regardless of whether this particular proposal works or not, I can remember that there is a world of possibility if I just keep following my heart and ignoring the fear and doubt that inevitably creeps in at vulnerable moments.  Now, to find a way to translate that sentiment to my love life and the greener grass will surely be beneath my feet.

Labor of Love

Last summer Milana, one of my best friends in the world got married and asked me to make soap as her wedding favors.  I happily obliged and together we came up with a theme of 2 oz. (about half the size of a regular bar) conversation hearts in light pink, scented with a duplicate of the Bath and Body Works fragrance  'Sweet Pea'.  So, I ordered five molds, each containing five individual heart cavities, enabling me to make 25 at a time, since the soap has to sit in the mold for about 24 hours.  This way, I would be able to make all 100 pieces in just four batches.  These were to be my wedding present to her.  It would be something I could truly put my heart into, a labor of love.

     

Sweet Pea, as a fragrance, behaves somewhat like most floral fragrances do in that it accelerates the chemical reaction where the oils and lye become soap.  When first combined, the substance is a cloudy liquid that slowly turns into a pudding-like consistency depending on how long you stir the mixture.  Some fragrances when added can make this process speed up, making the soap batter into a thick pudding (and sometimes chunky a.k.a. ricing) very quickly.  Two ways to better work with a fragrance like this are to use the full water amount (in which the lye is dissolved) and to mix the lye water with the oils at a relatively low temperature, which is exactly what I did.  The thing is, these molds were fairly intricate in that the lettering of the conversation hearts was raised and relatively thin.  So, this presented two problems..  one, when the soap is thick, it's harder to get it into detailed molds without air bubbles obscuring the design and two, the use of full water makes the soap a lot stickier and difficult to remove from the molds.  After spending much time frantically banging the mold on the table and mutilating several hearts, I tried putting the molds in the freezer for a couple of hours which would usually enable the soaps to slip right out..  but to no avail.  I ended up having to leave the soaps in the freezer for a couple of days before they could be finessed out of the molds.  And when I say "finessed", I mean beat the living hell out of.  Besides a few mutilated hearts and several moments of panic on my part, I ended up with great results, especially after packaging them.  Behold!

So, when my cousin Jen asked me to do the favors for her wedding in January, I decided to do the same, and this time would be more aware of what I was getting into.  At twice the number of pieces and with limited time, but with no individual molds required, I decided to do the same for her.  It would no doubt be cheaper, easier and less time consuming for me to order something from Crate & Barrel, but I feel like it means more to do this.  I would be making them either way, but giving the gift of my time, money and effort through creative process feels much more meaningful.  So, with six different designs on the curing racks at the moment, I have little time left to figure out how to package these little blue beauties.  I'll return with another post when I figure that out. 

Definition by default.

I am constantly trying to define myself.  Whether for myself or for others, I'm unsure.  How do I know anyone else really wants to know anyway?  I suppose by making an attempt in a public medium, I'll soon find out.  Where do I start, with how I earn a living? ..that seems to be the starting point for most people.  I suppose it defines me, not so much that I fit the image of what people think of when they think of a bartender, but that it provides me the time and money to incorporate the things that I value into my life.  I can run or ride my bike almost any day of the week whether I have to work or not.  I don't sit in rush hour traffic unless I get a late start running errands. I work about half the hours of an average American work week and earn a suitable living for a single person.  I don't stand in line at the grocery store.  Sometimes I achieve an aerobic state while I'm working.  I can take more than two weeks vacation in a year.  I can joke around and have fun at my job and earn more money by doing so.  At the same time, I defy you to pigeonhole me into the bartender stereotype.  I don't steal, I have never done cocaine, I am not interested in ripping people off.  I am honest and am not interested in money I didn't earn (not that I'd turn down a winning lottery ticket).  I don't do shots of Jagermeister or Grand Marnier.  I don't smoke.  I do, however, drunk-text/email after too much wine.  What can I say, it makes me loopy. 

I can't help but feel I'm running out of time to choose another career destination as I've entered my thirties.  I'm good at my job, at times I even love it, but I don't want to do it forever.  I love a lot of things about it, so I refuse to get what many have referred to as a "real job" if I have no passion for one.  My job is just as real as anyone else's and I can back that statement with a stack of applications filled out by people already in possession of those "real jobs".  Still, it's not what I want to be doing when I'm 50.  I try to be patient with myself and not put undue pressure on myself just because I've officially lost my youth.  I started bartending as a way to put myself through college and have worked several second jobs/internships since obtaining my B.A., but none have captivated me for longer than a year until I discovered soap.  When I graduated I took a trip to Alaska, bought some handmade soap as gifts, kept most of it for myself, long story short...  I have been making soap suds when I'm not pouring suds for the last several years and with every batch I make, I become more involved and passionate about it.   Etsy (and all things handmade) is my latest obsession...  I encourage you to take a look beyond my store and explore their unique, trendsetting site.  It's truly amazing and I believe in putting my money in the pockets of individual creators rather than into the overstuffed pockets of big companies where mere pennies trickle down into the pocket of an 8 year old in Taiwan who worked all day so that I could have my purse for cheap.

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade openwindowsoapworks.etsy.com